She walks around proud with her head up high and a big pretty smile throughout the week. She has a beautiful five bedroom, three car garage home with all the trimmings. She has beautiful children, three cars, lots of friends and family. Oh, how proud she is. Look at me she says, I have made it. I have the husband, children, home, good job, cars, money, who can ask for more. Monday through Friday, well, at least to Friday afternoon, they are the idea family, you know, like the Brady Bunch or the Cosby's. By Friday night it is a horror flick. The drinking begins, the name calling (i.e. "you ugly b...., fat a.., wh...), the humiliationg in front of strangers, then before the weekend ends, the beating begins. She runs to a friends' house, or motel. Not again she is thinking. This has gone on for years. She put up with it for the children's sake. So she thought it was benefiting the children, NOT. Now the children are older, however, the weekend event is still happening, only it has become more than an event, it is like her own personal horror movie. By Sunday the honeymoon begins. He is sweet as pie. Oh, I love him, he just needs to stop drinking, he can be so stupid she says, he should stop hanging around Don, John or whomever. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, all is well, Friday, Oh no, it is Friday again. Friday is like walking on egg shells to hell. The tension is building. The cycle begins again. The weekend of hell! She does not want her image damaged. She says her children were lucky to have a mother and a father. Pride is another reason women might stay in an abusive relationship, or they feel they are doing it for the children, not realizing the children are also victims. No wanting to ruin their image, yet most of the people around them probably already know about the weekend of hell she is living, her image, what image one might ask. Sometimes the children will grow up to disrespect the mother, or be angry with her for not doing something about the abuse years ago. Also, nine times out of ten, the children will end up in abusive relationships themselves, or even become abusers. Many children end up in the system (jail, juvenile detention, etc.), on drugs, or become alcoholics. Female child victims could grow up having baby after baby, maybe even by different men. There are so many negative affect domestic violence can have on children. Again, image, what image one might say? However, who am I to judge. No one really knows why unless you have walked in their shoes. All we can do is listen, hope, pray, guide and share our resources.
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Friday, September 19th 2008 at 9:41PM
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